People are always curious about human behavior. Because of this they seek things to read dispensing advice from others. Other people are more than willing to give advice based on their experiences and point of view. For instance, friends will “advise” you on what divorce is like based on their own divorces. But, is their experience generalizable to you? Or, are their viewpoints even helpful to you? Can their advice instead be unhelpful or even harmful to you? Since people each have unique experiences in their lives, no other person’s experience or circumstance will be the same as yours. So, it is doubtful others’ advice will benefit you.
So, what is the best way to learn about you and others and how you and they think and behave? For this you have to first look inward for self-understanding. It is a slower process and not a quick fix. You must begin through detailed self-observation.
You must discipline yourself to observe how you think, feel and behave, not only in your interactions with others, but also when alone within yourself. Include in your observations all of your daily routine and people you encounter. This method will give you more insight and self-understanding that any proscriptive self-help commentary or literature. What has been your experience with self-help versus introspection?
Generally speaking, true advice. Looking inward is always the way to go. I do think some material is helpful as it can provide some support for those who are isolated or truly believe knowledge is power.
Thank you for your comment. I agree that at times it may briefly help a few people. But, since people are so different, it may not speak to the majority. Also, the effects of reading self-help books may end quickly and people will feel discouraged that they cannot implement the “advice” they have read about. In order for a person to change he or she must do so emotionally, not intellectually. So the learning must be at an emotional level. It cannot be done through the intellect as we would learn mathematics, for example.