Since people are emotionally conditioned as very young children to be in roles that set their personality for their lifetime, their thoughts and beliefs are set early and are relatively immutable. Each person develops ways of thinking about himself, of seeing other people and of negotiating his life that are established early on. When one person encounters another, two mindsets and viewpoints on how to see life are encountered. Both people believe their standard is “normal” and the only way to approach the wider world. Thus, from the outset two viewpoints exist and conflict necessarily ensues.
Each person will attempt to get the other person to believe in his or her own viewpoint. Only rarely can the other person do this. To negotiate means for both persons to be able to see the other’s ideas and views and to consider them for what they are on their own merit. But, due to each person’s early emotional conditioning, their penchant for using their own standard is set. Each will not adopt the other’s standard and will not be able to evaluate ideas and facts free of their own biased standard. There is no independent thought, only conditioned standards and reactions. Conflict occurs immediately without resolution possible even with additional effort by both people.