Why Are Relationships So Important?

The yardstick governing each person’s approach to life is not found in a structure of the brain. I have already mentioned that the brain has the same anatomical structures in each person. However, the “thinking” apparatus of the brain is responsible for the processes we call our conscious thoughts, unconscious ideas and fixed standards. This apparatus operates by electrical and chemical signals within the brain. Firm standards for making decisions in life are necessary for obvious reasons. In order to be prepared for the countless exigencies of life, a young child is given meticulous guidance by his parent(s). They teach the child how to evaluate encounters with others. As well, they teach him the appropriate response to varied interpersonal situations. Naturally, what is deemed appropriate is the precise method used by the parent figure(s). Gradually, a child collates the parental teachings. These teachings are continuously reinforced. The child adopts the parental reference point as his own yardstick. Once this reference point is established, a child will gauge future encounters with people, and their positive or negative connotations, by the deviations from his learned parental norm. A child’s judgments henceforth will all be dictated as good or bad, pleasurable and desirable or anxiety-provoking and distressing, by their deviation from his singular acquired norm. A major difficulty in adopting parental standards in toto becomes evident in the event that parent(s) convey a deviant standard to their developing child. Thereafter, all of their child’s life experiences will be perceived and responded to in an aberrant fashion. The child’s response will be   directly proportional to the extent of family deviance.