In forty years of practice as a psychiatrist I have seen a fair number of people re-marry their former spouses. I am always intrigued and raise the question, if the marriage was so unsatisfactory as to have a divorce in the first place why would a person re-marry the same person and find himself or herself back in the same situation again?
Such remarriages appear to me to exemplify the power of emotions over logical, rational thought. The couple hopes magically that the marriage will be improved over what it had been before. Usually, they have not had any therapy and have not gained any further knowledge about their partner and no further self-understanding as well.
They are operating with the same blind hope they had preceding their first marriage. They will have many rationalizations and explanations as to why it will work out “this time” but will have made no actual changes in how they conduct their relationship. A far better solution would be to seek out therapy and gain some self-understanding about romantic choices.
If you have remarried the same person, what has been your experience the second time around?
