Do you get involved in a new relationship only to have that déjà vu feeling you are have had the same relationship before? You are not alone. Many, if not most people, have this same experience. Why? Because it’s true that what seems at first like a new type of relationship with a new person, is not actually so.

People do not change their attraction to others unless they have had some counseling or therapy. We are attracted to the same type of person over and over. And, there are plenty of mates that fulfill that attraction.

When one relationship breaks up, we form another one, but it has the same template or pattern as the last one. Both partners feel the excitement of romantic feelings for one another. They want this relationship to work out and be all the things that prior relationships have failed to be.

But, this does not happen. Each partner is exactly the same person he or she has always been. Each seeks the same type person as he or she has in the past. We conduct our new relationships the same way as past relationships. Each person commits the same error repeatedly, hoping for a new outcome. This never works.

What has been your repeat relationship experience? If you broke the cycle of repetition, how did you do so?

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