Aggressive displays are usually condemned without much of a deeper look or question as to what created or caused the person to be aggressive. Yet asking such questions reveals people display aggressive behaviors under different circumstances and with different motivations. Some people rarely are aggressive even with being provoked repeatedly. When they do blow up aggressively they feel very guilty. They become upset with themselves for their loss of control. They vow never to strike out again with such anger. Actually, their explosive aggression is due to pent-up feelings that usually have resulted from prolonged maltreatment by another person.
Other people are readily aggressive and resort to aggressive tactics as second nature. These people do not have guilt or remorse about their aggression toward others. They see nothing wrong with their behaviors and they are inclined to repeat them with little to no provocation. They resort to aggression to get their way with others. Only people who are bigger bullies and who have superior physical strength deter these people from being so aggressive.
Have you had or seen such differences in aggressive behaviors in yourself or others?
I had a positive working relationship with a therapist who was known for being grumpy. She became overly aggressive when it came down to moving on in her career to another position. It wasn’t until after I had experienced the aggressive behavior from her directly (yelling about transferring clients and shutting down all communication, or sabotaging group efforts in treatment) that I realized she had some kind of emotional problem. I chalked it up to burn out or being unhappy with the company. I felt blindsided by the experience and actually feared unlawful retaliation.
Thank you for your comment. This is a good example of a situation where we do not understand the meaning of what caused someone to act aggressively but are able to see that something emotional is taking place.