The best approach to self-understanding is to study yourself intelligently rather than through any external source such as self-help advice. Since each person is conditioned to act reflexly, he or she must learn by concerted practice to observe both other people and oneself. This can be practiced each day by noting actions, expressed thoughts, attitudes, emotions, peculiarities, and so on of others whom you encounter. You must also practice observing our own reactions to each person you encounter. You can also start by observing your family, how they act toward you and what expectations they have placed on you since early childhood. Also, what is your response toward your individual relatives? You can then move on to observe and study events in your life – school, social life, friendships, work, etc. Remember, it takes dedicated mental effort to observe your own mind.