With a family member or a friend, do you ever feel you are talking to the other person but he or she is not listening or responding? There are many aspects to look at within you to gain better self-understanding. What response do you want from him or her? Sometimes you may want agreement with what you have asked or proposed. Other times you may want a dialogue for or against your idea or plan of action, etc. You may want to just brainstorm with your friend. In addition, consider if you are engaging the other person or just talking at them. How do you come across? When a person is talked at he tunes you out because he’s bored and exasperated with being talked at instead of being asked to be engaged in a dialogue.

Other issues to consider are within the other person and not within you. Is your friend/family member distracted and that’s the reason he’s not listening or responding? Or, your friend may be a self-absorbed person, only interested in himself and not inclined to listen to your ideas or anything you say. You must consider not only yourself but the other person in evaluating what is happening if you feel you’re “talking to a brick wall.” It may be you or your friend that’s responsible, or a little bit of each of you.

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