I have mentioned the child enters into a learning experience with his parent(s). Every interaction formulates components of the child’s resulting personality and how he will deal with others throughout his life.
This set of conditioned learning experiences occurs in a part of the brain subsuming emotionally-laded data. Each child is indoctrinated to adhere to parental standards. Children create small anxieties in their parents. Parents unconsciously quell their own anxieties via feedback to their children. The children then change their behaviors. In this manner the parents’ anxieties are diminished. Socialization occurs. The child’s healthy perceptions and judgments are changed to the conditioned “reality” of the family in which he resides. Each child’s own perceptions are supplanted by the emotional reality of his parents. Judgment is altered permanently as the emotional conditioning process takes over. This process equips the child with a set of inappropriate reactions to others with whom he relates (especially those outside his immediate family).
As a result, judgment of oneself and others becomes a fragmented process. Other people are evaluated only superficially. Each person assumes another whole person can be understood and recognized by examining only a small part – dress, wealth, demeanor, achievements, areas of competence. No one uses thoughtful approaches that utilize scrutiny of all available information about another person. Even when errors in judgments are made in mate choices, friendships or business associates, people repeat the same errors because of their conditioned approach rather than a reality-based approach. Accordingly, people are robbed of their ability to understand themselves and others.